The Writing About My Melancholy Continues

I am still melancholic but also trying to not think most of the time. To battle my melancholy, I started to write stuff through my instagram posts and found out, I’m not ending with just two posts but a continuous effort to bring out the reason why I’m feeling sad.

A good friend and co-worker asked me why am I being melancholic and asked me “What or who did you remember recently?”

And I blurted out aloud “a lot”. Here’s another melancholic mode instagram post below:

One of the bad side of being melancholic is that you keep thinking even when all the lights are off. I ended up sleeping past 2AM because even when the phone is turned off and my aircon is in full blast, I still keep thinking stuff about work, life, plans and even the past.

There are certain things that is so hard to understand . It ends us with the reality that certain decisions and actions from long ago can have a ripple effect all along, not to mention, consequences. And so does current decisions in life, it will impact my entire life one way or another.

But if in any consolation, the past is past and we can no longer hold dear to what has been done.

The good thing is, God in His loving nature as a Father, redeemed us from our past and reminds us that even in our darkest, He became the light and hope for us through His son.

How then should I act with my #melancholy and #liveout the best in me?

Still, in #melancholic mode and yet, hopeful that by writing what is in my head, helps me jump boat from this #temperament to my #choleric side once again.

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When Melancholy Hits You Hard

You probably think that I’ve been neglecting this blog for quite some time but that’s not the case, or probably the entire scenario…

All of us sometimes needs space to reflect, look back and tries to clear things out. For whatever reasons, it can and helpfully get us back on track.

Since this is a blog about being melancholic, I’ll start by posting what I placed in my instagram account awhile ago. Here it goes:

I woke up with a very heavy feeling today. And yet, my mind wants to remind me that even King David encouraged himself in times of his own despair.

In 1 Samuel 30:6 the author shared “And David was greatly distressed…but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” Life as we know it will always have its ups and downs. We look at it differently and sometimes jokingly. But in the end, it is up to us whether we want to stay where we are or we rise above the situation, continue to pursue the things we love, leave behind the things we fear or start back to step zero.

But it all starts and ends with God.

This is a long post but believe me, I’ll be back to post more #melancholic #musings because #melancholicmode is on and #reflections would jump up here and there.

So,there it is. After trying to overcome the sad melancholic mode for about 6 months, it hit me hard on my birthday that I’ll be forever be “melancholic” and a few days after, got rebuked that when life hits you hard – I don’t need to roll down with it, I need to rise-up, believe in the good things in life, encourage myself and get my act together because I am not yet done.

When Work Has Its Challenges…

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We face difficulties and challenges differently. I for one would strategize how to get out of the situation, create resolutions and start working to sort things out. But other people respond differently. A friend of mine usually tries to detach herself to people when faced with challenges while another one, bursts out in discouragement and talks about it to everyone he meets.

Regardless of the challenges, one thing is for sure, our attitude determines our response to the situation. Responding negatively only brings more problems and frustration while responding the positive way helps fix the situation. We need to become part of the solution and not the problem.

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. -Hans Selye

Here are a couple of things I am learning while experiencing the challenges:

  1. Listen to other people’s concern but never retaliate – LISTEN. It pays to listen to a co-worker when they are venting out their frustrations. Although it might push us to retaliate when words gets very sharp but having the patience to sit for some time and know the root cause can help us better understand the situation.
  2. Affirm the other person’s point of view but rebuke when needed – the person will keep on telling the group that he or she is right. Regardless of how negative this may sound, affirming their remarks and observations helps the person to open up. We need to understand that this gives us the edge to also give our side of the observation. It becomes different when the person now pinpoints other people’s mistakes instead on focusing on what really is going on. That’s when rebuke comes in. I always remind myself to “rebuke with love” – the statement may be hard to take but sharing it the right way, without raising your voice and using right words that brings clarity not hatred matters.
  3. Always be cool-headed when talking to someone – having two hot-headed people in one room is too much. Someone will retaliate at any moment. According to my favorite author Zig Ziglar “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude…” and being cool even when discussing hot issues gives balance and resolution always.
  4. If needed, we need to be firm with what needs to be done and get both side’s commitment – verbalizing our comments, commitment and even with a simple “yes” or “no” can level the game. It always takes two or more people to fix the issue; it can never be resolved with you just absorbing everything. You need to tell the right people and discuss resolutions. Get the commitment of the person concerned to “move on” and do something about it and if possible, not talk about it anymore in a negative way.

I hope the things I’ve shared help. And if it does, please let me know! 😉

Am I Happy or NOT?

“Are you happy with your life?”

That was an interesting question coming from an officemate a few days ago when we were heading back to Dumaguete from our Bohol Jobfair. I was taken aback but the words that came out was – “Yes, I am…”

I’ve been asked a couple of times with thought provoking questions and I was able to answer them well and soundly I would presume. But with this one, it made me think if it’s really happiness I feel every time I try to evaluate myself and the experiences I have.

They say that different people have different perception of happiness or the state of being happy. I’d say, happiness is a state of being wherein you feel good about something good that happened. (Toinks, does it sound right?)

In as much as I want to answer the question whether I’m happy or not, I’m really dumbfounded as to what grounds can I determine such feeling. I mean, I’m basically okay with a lot of glitches in my personal and workaholic lifestyle, but am I really happy with all of these?

Sad to say, happiness is just a state of the mind and we don’t feel it always as we want to. But the good thing I guess is that, even when we are not happy, we do find contentment in what we have. Contentment is a better word I believe, not because it’s an action word but because contentment means having joy even when we are limited.

I guess that makes sense for now, contentment means being joyful. It’s an inner attitude whether there is storm or hale in my life right now. It’s a positive attitude invigorating me to stay contented and joyful in the inside and the outside of my experiences.

So, how about you, what are you feeling right now?

I’m A Filipino, But I’m not an IDIOT!

I requested for a vacation leave for August 24 and September 1, making 2 weekends longer than expected.  🙂 I hope it will be approved considering that we don’t have a ramp during that time. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Another thing, I just read a blog earlier about her cry outs and I was a bit sad about her blog title – Filipinos are Idiots. I kind of wonder whether she unconsciously wrote that blog title or that she just have so many issues in her life being born as a Filipino. 😦

I believe it’s her choice to use such a word for the Filipinos, but one question comes up to my mind, does she speak about something because there’s something into what she is trying to express or that it’s just rants and winings that seems to be senseless and nonsense?

If she makes sense, does it make her an idiot as well, since she is a Filipino based on the way she delivers it? O is it a superiority complex issue – that she thinks she is far better than other Filipinos, that she thinks we are idiots who makes nonsense things over something?

Why am I saying this? because it will totally contradict what she is expressing for herself. An idiot, if I may borrow the dictionary’s definition of the word says ” an utterly foolish or senseless person”.

I am a Filipino, and I beg to disagree. By virtue and knowledge given by God, I believe I’m not an idiot. The question is, are you?

Thank You!

The “Emo” Discussion!

Can we always fight our emotions?

Is our will over feelings practical as always?

I’m in a state right now wherein I am at a lost with my emotions. ALthough I’m not loosing my control over it, I tend to think doing otherwise and see what happens. Sad to say, my personality sometimes allow me to dwell more in the situation causing too much of  myself being down. Whew!

Back to my questions, Can we always fight our emotions?

I’d say “YES”. I always did that before and look at me now! Fighting our emotions is basically saying “no” to something I can personally benefit well and yet doesn’t have the courage to lose control over it. Being heartbroken sometimes allows me to close all doors to any opportunities in becoming intimate with someone. And as much as I’d like to say, that’s normal – IT’s NOT!

Second, Is our will over feelings practical as always?

No, it’s not but it can be beneficial. Haha… I know a lot will disagree with me on this. Falling in love is of the heart, many would say. But I still believe that thinking things over allows me to weigh the pro’s and con’s of an attached life. Although it has it’s own toils as well…like what my twin bro learned a few months ago, being afraid to say yes to someone often leads to being afraid to be with someone for the rest of your life. That’s hard, but I can still manage!

On a serious note, feelings is good but sometimes can blind us from the facts of life. It’s not dependable when we want to decide over something important in life. Of course, God created our emotions and everything that we feel. But also God created the will to choose what to do amidst the feeling and the action to “lord” over our emotions when the need arises. I know, it’s easier said than done, but that’s a fact of life, always is and always will be.

Choices We Make

 

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It’s shameful sometimes that we often choose wrong decisions in life. To account for, I had a lot of wrong choices myself when growing up and up until now. I was wondering when will I choose to do the right things for the right reasons… Of course, most of my choices as well were for good reasons for myself but not necesarrily the suppposed right ones.

I believe this is one of the hardest in life growing up. You have to consider everything else aside from the outcome of it. And to a person who thinks too much, it’s a big possibility of re-thinking all over again. Whew.

But anyway, come to think of it, sometimes the choices we make reflects ourself being human, imperfect and prone to do the wrong things. And the question that should be reckoned with, is how to handle both pressure and outcome when everything rises in the surface? Hhhhmmm…truly one question that is hard to pass by.

To many of us, choosing wisely is not an option but a prerogative, but to a few certain individuals, choosing over something imparts fate of being a “happy go lucky guy”. Another one fact of life that’s true…

And why am I blogging about feelings and choices? Well, that’s because that’s what’s on my mind right now and I am torn between choosing to go straight in life, or have a few enroute as well. Of course, I’m not saying I’m backsliding…silly you!

Work Related Blog!

Today can be the saddest thing of being part of the recruitment team, technically, by the end of the week I will be transferred to the Marketing Department. I know, I know, it’s still work but I just couldn’t help thinking about what will happen for the next 2 days. 😦

I believe this will not be that bad, the only problem is that I don’t want to belong to Marketing. Haaay…Although my work basically is part of marketing, I don’t like to belong in that department for a particular reason that I don’t know. Maybe because with us (the team) transferring into Marketing, our tasks will definitely doubled and the toxic level at the highest tip. 😦

But on a lighter note, I’d still be under Talent Acquisition ( Recruitment) and will have the same team (just some other additional will do…) And of course, hopefully, better pay. 🙂

The Toils of Professional Life!

The Reality of Professional work is that it always makes us strive more. Correct me if I’m wrong, but sometimes being a christian and a professional at the same time has its own toils as well. And that includes being best at one side with the other one tagging along.

I always believe that there should be balance in everything – work and life should have the same weight over my life, and it should in both spheres be influenced with my spirituality. As I re-evaluate everything (again!) I find it more disturbing that I’m having a hard time sticking both ends to meet.

Of course, excellence is required in these two areas of my life, but I often think that if I’m good at work, I end up flunking my christian life, and vice-versa. It’s hard!

For this year, I plan to excel (or be at par) with both areas in my life. My ministry has been taking almost all the toils because of always being busy at work. And I’m definitely becoming workaholic -which is not GOOD for an OC wannabee and Melancholic person. It takes out the energy in you!

So, what do I intend to do? How do i drive myself to do both in one lifetime? Hhhmm…perfect question! And if anyone is reading this blog, sure enlightenment is appreciated.

Thanks For Reading!

Learning Just These Days

“Experience can be a guideline, but still God gives the result…”

I just heard that statement the  other night from  a pastor on the radio. It was indeed a reality in my life.There are things in this world that we do and yet we cope to the hope of God doing the rest. It’s the idea of doing the things we know we can do believing God to provide the answer.

I also realized from that same message of us learning to trust in the Lord’s all-caring hands. It’s say’s of being “careless” of ourselves, giving it to someone to do it for us. It’s a unique invitation of being vulnerable with our future yet entrusting it to someone we know who can handle it better than us. But the best of all, is that w entrust our future to the hands of a caring God, not to men.

To the world we are living, this is being stupid. The world seems to inject the truth of man being by himself and providing for himself and capable by himself.  I find it ironic that even though I am quite successful at my work, I still find myself inadequate. And yet, with my inadequacies in life, I find the best irony of all – still God finds me adequate and fit for the job. Isn’t it great?

Our God who owns the world finds us adequate to do the little things we find ourselves dumbfounded.  Why? Because He has sent his son for us to be the answer. This may sound more stupid, but folks – Christ, indeed is the answer!