there has been alot going on lately. i was awake till 1am because i watch a movie documentary about lives of gay people here in the philippines, the title was duda:doubt.
although the plot was kinda flimsy and revolves in the life of two lovers and the opinions of their friends about their relationship, it was a good movie.
with the vivid reality of gay life, the scenarios being seen in bars, personal life and the lustful sex…i find it very confusing of what is “love” for them is. it actually implies “doubt” if their term for love is right and correct.
it was kinda interesting seeing naked men moving along puerto galera…in the eerie night fulfilling thei lustful dillema over other guys and gays. i wonder what would that be like…hehehe. i dont have enough courage to do that…wahehe…YUCKS.
one thing i learned about this movie, sex is really enticing and is capable of making the meanings of some things thwarted and confusing. life may give us different means to discover things and it can also make us believe things and yet, it’s wrong.
i believe, that gay life is bad. though torn between doing straight life and this one, i’d rather choose the straight..not just because it is the right thing to do, but we were created to be partners not with other men, but with women.
even during before and after the fall,life has become unfair,both men look for love in the wrong places…and so does women. i even wonder sometimes, why do i feel this way? how come i love to share about waiting for true love and yet, i play with other men?
it has been quite a struggle…and i always wanted to understand why? maybe the answers are not meant for me to find out…maybe, the answers arejust behind the corner…perhaps, it has been answered..i’m just too blinded to see it.