I often wonder sometimes how life can be so ironic. People asks you questions that seems to be answerable for us and yet, we ourselves are bounded by our very own issues we often need an answer from someone.
I was asked by a friend earlier through a text message if ever “She should fight for him? Or let go?” and my answer was quite surprising even to me.
I told her that “it will still be your choice… fighting for someone may not mean winning it but at least trying to do d most makes it worthwhile.” Not later than 20 seconds that I received quite a favorable thanks for the enlightenment that I found myself questioning the same things over.
I often wonder whether to get back to that special someone whom I lost track with because of so many things in my life. Couldn’t resist the feeling of being afraid to be in a relationship – afraid of the commitment and the fears of finding the right person.
Upon seeing many things in perspective, I am in a way perplexed with my own stand about love and relationships yet feel adequate to answer a few questions by those that are younger than me. I often wonder how many of us guys really does have the courage to stand for the one we love and speak of the things we desire for the future. How in many things, women who has this desire to meet the prince charming in any novels and fairy tales can be counted few to the modern reality of life.
Crazy as this may sound, finding a relationship right now is not in my list maybe, just maybe, because of fear -not of being rejected, but of the future as well.
I often question my own relationships with everyone else. It’s as if I’m not doing my part as a brother or a friend or a special someone good enough that trust seems to be so hard for them to give back.
Can love be given out without giving trust also to someone?
I assume that immature love can sometimes be like that – giving out love but not trusting. How often do we expect someone to love us back because they trust us we don’t break their hearts? Sad as it is, to many of us,love can be just a sick game played by two lustful individuals whose lust is coated by “sugar and spice and everything nice”…Duh!
How do I often hear someone say about love giving their best to someone and yet during break-up often lays down the cards of why the break-up should happen? Guys or gals are the same I presume when the spark has ended and the gloomy relationship has started to emerge in full bloomn we often hit it big with the reason why the other should be blame and not us.
In reality, what I am implying are not merely words from a brokenhearted guy but a sad reality for being in love and yet, ending up torned more than ever because someone forgot to include trust when it all started way back then.
Can time really heal all wounds? Or is it just a tagline for everyone elses idea of forgetting what has happened, as if nothing ever did happen.
Silly me,I’m a guy who has so many trials and yet, here I am, so depressed and hurtful for the things that life has given me. In all of these, where is me when all has been given to love but not trust. Sigh…
I was just out buying some guy’s stuff when I got the urge to go online and check my friendster and blog account!
Well, just a quick recap of all the things I’ve been doing the whole weekend…
I had the time off from work after 2 days in Guihulngan City for a job fair. Although the job fair is not that stressful, the trip was! We have to travel for almost 3 hours from Dumaguete to Guihulngan by land trip! An aching back and a strained neck is worth the 6 “ok for hire” applicants out of around 60 applicants for the 2 days which is like 30%! (WOhooo!)
We had the chance to stroll the kids at the park and spend quality time with them. It was fun, we ended the night with a kiss from both and a good night hug before we went home.
Well, as i said, I totally forgot to buy toiletries since I was damn busy (with the kids…) and relaxed the whole day! Good thing Mercury was still open when I got in the downtown area. 🙂
Cheers everyone! 😉
I dont know if it’s just fate or whatever, but it seems that love is far from reality at my end. It seems that every chances I make ends in defeat and disbelief. Second chances seems undeniably a pitiful route of despair and discouragement. A game i seldom play yet, in every game seems an excruciating pain of loosing.
I guess maybe i came to the point where love seems to be a playground rather than an experience of being with someone who will look after you, care for you and do the same for her. I must admit that I have been foolish and unfaithful at times in the past. Denial seems to be inevitable.
What if everything was different? What if the dreams of having real love, a strong relationship and an experience of taking care of one another really did happen? Will the same things happen again? I guess it will. I don’t want to cut the giggling but it sometimes is true. Love seems to be an attraction rather than a commitment. For us, at times, love has become a challenge of getting who’s who and having something in return. It has become a game of being “in” and “cool” rather than true relationship.
This may sound like a word coming from someone who has been heartbroken and loved for stupid reasons, but hey, dont you think it from time to time, that love seems a game everyone is playing- and nobody’s winning because either party takes away something from him/her and in return, ends up leaving incomplete and torn apart by something or something they thought will complete their gray colored life.
Life is indeed a mystery- with all the things that i said, i still believe in true and real love. I often ran my own search yet in this point of time, i’ll wait for it. I’ll wait when what i see is love that is not a children’s game but an experience of grown-ups do with maturity. I played once and lost- I can never change my past, but at least, i have enough time to change my future.
Love then is not a dirty game, it’s just that the players are either good or bad. Nevertheless, it’s a game everyone seems to be in and yet gets out loosing a part of himself, rather than gaining something of the experience.
Sunday can be a bit of a boredom to me. Good thing there was my nephew who for the entire afternoon accompanied me to watch tv, played in the mat and let’s say, get’s to unfix my hair and had some laughs at our pictures during the mat rolling time.
Kids do brighten our day and allows us to be more happy in life than the usual mundane reasons. I hate to admit it but I love spending time with them, especially my nephew, Lance. He’s the huggable and patient one. On the other hand, I love Ashley too, but often times she has tantrums. I love them both.
I can only spend time with them during weekends since I am working far from home. Although I can travel an hour or so going to and from work, I choose to live in the city. It’s more accessible for me. Weekends are no escape for me to meet them. It’s an avenue to help my sister take care for them and teach them some lessons about life, values and more about relationship – especially family and Godly relations.
Well, I just wanted to share these to all, thanks for reading. BTW, I was able to sneak out because the 2 kids were already snoring. Hahaha… Happy week for everyone!!!