When Melancholy Hits You Hard

You probably think that I’ve been neglecting this blog for quite some time but that’s not the case, or probably the entire scenario…

All of us sometimes needs space to reflect, look back and tries to clear things out. For whatever reasons, it can and helpfully get us back on track.

Since this is a blog about being melancholic, I’ll start by posting what I placed in my instagram account awhile ago. Here it goes:

I woke up with a very heavy feeling today. And yet, my mind wants to remind me that even King David encouraged himself in times of his own despair.

In 1 Samuel 30:6 the author shared “And David was greatly distressed…but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” Life as we know it will always have its ups and downs. We look at it differently and sometimes jokingly. But in the end, it is up to us whether we want to stay where we are or we rise above the situation, continue to pursue the things we love, leave behind the things we fear or start back to step zero.

But it all starts and ends with God.

This is a long post but believe me, I’ll be back to post more #melancholic #musings because #melancholicmode is on and #reflections would jump up here and there.

So,there it is. After trying to overcome the sad melancholic mode for about 6 months, it hit me hard on my birthday that I’ll be forever be “melancholic” and a few days after, got rebuked that when life hits you hard – I don’t need to roll down with it, I need to rise-up, believe in the good things in life, encourage myself and get my act together because I am not yet done.

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The Process Of Restoration

Isaiah 61:7 “Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land, they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.”

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I’ve been meeting with my mentors for the past weekends since January as part of the process of restoration. During these opportunities, I get to see them not as pastors but as parents. It was a season of renewing, one on one mentoring and having to sit down and listen to both of them.

If you are not aware of what happened, please click here to know why I am on disciplinary action. I still believe that confessing it in public was the most powerful experience I have been in to but meeting with both of them every weekend makes it more appealing, relating their love for me as a son. In the past few weeks, I haven’t heard anything bad about me, never ridiculed my wrongdoings or even condemned me for my past sins. It was more of a time of good food and a whole lot of time of loving!

For the last 6 weeks, here’s what I have done alone or together with them:

  1. I’ve spent almost every Saturday and Sunday with them, either by eating with them or doing activities at their home, mostly resting and eating snacks or lunch together, sometimes watching tv and a couple of hours of sincere talks about spiritual things, releasing of emotional baggages and the testimony of a love that conquers all (their love story!).
  2. A drive going to Bais with Uncle Lem, talking about life decisions, protecting myself from the cares of the world and encouraging me that there have been changes they have noticed on how I am, even when I am not talking. The importance of accountability and people who will protect and cover for me in prayer and encouragement.
  3. The opportunity to pray with both of them, listen to them and humbly submitting to their authority. To be covered in prayer, the laying of hands and the hugs (almost all the time) from them makes it real to me that they love me, even in the past that I have, they do love me.
  4. The blessing of having to eat with them during meal time. Auntie Tessie being my spiritual mom, will let me sit and wait for the food to be prepared. To eat what Uncle Lem and she will have is one of the best experience in this season.
  5. Praying, meditating, reading articles about redemption, restoration and renewal of the covenant with the Lord in my room.
  6. Writing blogs and tweets that reflects my experiences, lessons I am learning and even the struggles I’ve encountered so far.
  7. Listening to sermons about purity, one on one talk with Uncle Lemuel and with my personal quiet time with the Lord.
  8. Personal daily worship with the Lord, praying daily and journaling my thoughts.
  9. The changes in how I worship in the congregation, I no longer care how others may look or think of me except on how God sees me as I am.
  10. A time spent with my spiritual sisters and brothers ( Yhem and Micah, Kuya Dan and Christian, Viz and Lutzine) and how they have received my imperfections, my struggles and the encouragement to pursue godliness and purity.

Lastly, when Auntie Tessie spoke these very words last night “You are now restored fully in the ministry God has placed you…”. I answered back with “Yes, I am restored from the time we talked up to tonight…” She interrupted me this time by saying  “No, you are now fully restored in the ministry and in the leadership God has placed you.”

I was jumping for joy not because I can do the stuff I’ve been doing but because in their eyes, I have fully accomplished what I needed to learn in this season. In this season, God was relentless in making sure I am restored in the fullness of who I am in Christ Jesus.

Why do I need to share these things here? You probably needed to hear from someone who came from the pit of sin and how God helped me in the season I am in. I believe that restoration is a process of fine-tuning, and it will hurt you, break you, kill your selfish desires and even rebuke you. But there is also another side of the process wherein love is shown in simple ways, kindness, and grace bestowed in the small ways and in all of these, restoration and forgiveness.

Does it mean I can do whatever I want to do from this point forward? No, it will not work that way. I will continue to spend time with Uncle Lem and Auntie Tessie, not as part of the process but because I want to spend my days with them – to support, protect and minister with them. I also have a lot of people covering me, protecting me, checking on me and help me along the way. Freedom in Christ is not a one time experience, it is a process that we need to go through in a season.

What do I do now? I want to serve the church, the best way I can, with the very same words of Isaiah I am now receiving the double portion, a lot where I can grow and minister and the joy of the Lord to be my strength to pursue destiny. I want to use all of my experiences, lessons I have learned and God’s power of restoration to minister to the broken, the prodigals and the self-righteous like me.

I hope you are blessed with what I have shared and please do comment and share this post!

A Testimony Talk

“The moment we make our mess into a message of hope and the testings our testimony, we celebrate the victory we have in Christ Jesus.”

I had the opportunity to talk last night in a youth group about 1 Corinthians 13. By God’s grace, I hope I was able to present a very good and thorough explaination of what true love is, basing it in the written word of God, the bible.

Amazing things happen when you know God walks through the door and makes you tell your testimony to a group of youngsters.

Perhaps, I’ll share it here one time but for now, be praying to God about it. 😉

The Power Of Confession

Today is one of the most powerful day at church. I have seen the Lord move in the congregation without any songs at the background but just Him and from a person who has given his testimony and how God has changed him from the inside out.

It has been a challenging and hard step for me to lay it all down before the Lord and to my church family with my struggle with sin.

Indeed, the past few days has been a meaningful journey of finding true freedom in Christ Jesus.

Starting today, I have set myself in the next step of my journey of healing, restoration and redemption.

I’d like to share the process I’ve been through and how the Lord has used a lot of people in my life to be bold enough to speak in front in truth, in love and in full of humility for the next few blog posts.

Today, I will share about how the Lord prepared my heart for the times ahead.

The Preparation of The Heart

For the last two weeks, I’ve been confronted with the deception that I am unloved, unaccepted and condemned. The enemy has instilled in my mind that no matter what I do right, I am still broken,incomplete and rejected.

All of the statements I’ve mentioned came from the enemy. And all of them are lies.

Our mind may tell us all these things but God looks at the heart and not on how we think of ourselves. We have people around us who will protect and rebuke us.

God has placed in my life people to let me see the other side of me that needs to change.

In my preparation, the Lord has brought me to scriptures and statements that speaks about my identity in Him, not of myself but of what He has done for me. It took me hours of heart to heart talk with my mentors to deal with the sin and me.

My spiritual parents have ministered and rebuked me with all the reasons I can give to them why I am afraid to confess it.

My Uncle Lemuel (my senior pastor) has been a powerful voice in my life to rebuke my stubborness. He reminded me that recognizing myself and my pride, the fear of rejection and discrimination is a sign that I have not died to self.

It is only when i recognize the importance of confession will I be able to be truly experience the freedom I have always longed for.

Indeed, as a believer, the words of Jesus rings true to all of us who wants to follow him.

Luke 9:23-24 “And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.

The battle was all in the mind and I am blessed to say that receiving forgiveness from my brother, my mom and my spiritual family was not an easy task. It took all of my pride and laid it aside and be open to criticism, rebuke and condemnation.

But because of the boldness to confront my pride, my fears and the sins I have done that I was able to step-out from the darkness and receive the life Christ has promised.

Today at church, I have opened myself to all of those who were present about my struggles and have asked for forgiveness. I was crying in front as I shared the innermost secret of my life.

As I was pouring out my heart to the congregation, I knew the lord has started to release a mantle of forgiveness in my life. I know that being bold on what I shared will either put me in the spotlight of condemnation and rejection but I no longer cared because I felt the love from my Father in heaven, tangible and real.

I also received forgiveness and grace from the people in church I recognize as family. I know that it was not easy for all of them to see me in front but I also know that God has also ministered to them through what I have done as an act of worship.

We all cried in knowing that we have all received the love of the Father and mercy for our misgivings. And in all of these, to Him be all the glory and honor alone!

I may never know what you are going through right now and I know that in all the struggles and sin that you have, you have longed for the freedom that Christ has promised.

Let me be the first one to say this “He loves you no matter what” and accepts you for who you are. And He is ready to forgive you if you will just lay down your guard and be truthful about it.

He will not leave you until the broken pieces of your life are brought back together. I am the very evidence of a “work in progress” and I have received grace and a renewed mind because I stood in front to almost a hundred people in my church today and openly confess my sins to be forgiven.

God will give you a new heart, a heart of flesh that will feel the love, grace and acceptance from our Abba Father. Just receive it as you read the prayer below:

“Father, I speak life to those who are reading this message. May the same love, kindness and grace you have showered me today be evident in their situation.

You have a purpose in all of our struggles but we have to make a bold step to forgive ourselves and make your way in our lives once again.

In your name, we speak life and blessing that you who have called us is faithful and true. May we find our resting place in the security of who we are in You, not with what we have but of what you have done for us.

We renounce the spirit of deception, the sinful nature and receive your love and forgiveness. That no matter what we have done so far, you will take away. Your love is near and you can remove our sins.

Amen.”

MMK: #TheProdigalDaughter Story

I just finished watching Maalaala Mo Kaya, a weekend television show in ABS-CBN sharing real life stories for drama purposes. Tonight seems to give a very good story of what we all call new beginnings.

Here are a few realizations I can share with you after watching it:

1. Sin is a choice and living rightly is also a choice. Our life is filled with choices and so does doing what is right.

2. Grace is always available but we deny its existence. The very evidence that we still live in this world showcases God’s plans for us. He will never end our story unless we allow it. And so does His grace, we can never experience His love unless we acknowledge it.

3. God is not done with me yet. Yes, the stories we hear always tells of a perfect creator with a good storyline. Just be ready to know the truth. It will reshape our mindset, it will redefine our story, it can also renew our endings.

4. The power of change starts in us. The first step to change is to recognize that it starts on the inside. As what I always say, it is a matter of choice and choosing to change doesn’t start outside but inside of us.

5. Fear of the outcome allows us to rely in the hope we profess. Our hope is anchored in Christ, his promises and love for us. It may sound weird at first but it doesn’t change the fact that He died that we may live in Him.

How about you? What story and learnings have unfolded at the start of the new year? May each story we share reflect His love, grace and plans for all of us.

Quick Blog Recap!

It’s weekend once again and I cant wait to go home and just relax and stay tuned for awhile. It sure was tiresome!

For a recap, I have been very busy on 3 most important things in my life right now –

  1. My Work – I’ve been momentarily glued with my sourcing plan for the whole year and it was good to know I was able to create plans that could suffice the entire quarter for this year.
  2. My Blog – I was able to check my blog and the hits increased 90 plus more yesterday. I am also currently in the making of another blog ( StandPoints ) to be co-authored by friends.
  3. My health – I’ve been watching what I’m eating recently and careful not to be stressed out so much about work.

Well, it’s friday night and I have nothing in mind on what to do over the next few hours but blog! I’m becoming a blogaddict this new year…I wonder why.

Just to inform also that I received a timely gift from Kathy, my friend and colleague at work – a 2009 daily planner and calendar! Whew, I was planning to buy one but good thing she beats me in that. Less cost for this month. Wahehehe…

Talk To You Later… Ciao!

New Year’s Resolution?

It’s 2009 and I’m making my first post for this year!

Well, as promised of taking things into consideration all the advises I had last year, I manage to agree in having a haircut before the year started. And I’m not sure if it’s the angle or I really look good with short hair (or long!) Lol!

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And so, I have a few New Year’s Resolution to tango with this year namely;

1. Eat Good and a well balanced diet. I’ll try to keep balance in both since I usually skip some mealtimes because of too much tiredness as well as not having good food to eat during mealtimes as well.

2. Get a life not just a living. A famous book by a Christian author seems to be the best book to buy for this year to start. I think I have been well overtaken by work that I didn’t find enough time to enjoy life and make the most of what I love to do before. 🙂

3. Blog more than ever before. I need to blog more posts than last year mainly because I need to. Wahaha… This is one avenue that I can spill out the toxicity of my brain cells without hurting myself. LOL!

I guess those 3 will do for now. 🙂

Well, New Year starts today and like every other year, we need to understand that God does give second chances.  I had a lot of mishaps last year for sure but I am not sure if ever I wont have this year but as what Ravi Zacharias, one of my new favorite Christian Author – “My Will Matters…” which basically means, everything that might happen or will happen determines on my own choice on how to react and act wisely in these changing times. Happy New Year everyone!!!

Acquaintance and Frienship?

It’s another late night post after a day with so many things to do yet only a few things has beenasid and done. ( What’s that again?)

Anyway, Can anything be excited than meeting new people especially if you’re not in a hurry? To many of us, what makes acquaintances are people with no time to take a sip and talk awhile (one moment…one Nescafe!) and get to learn more about other people – whether it’s the mundane stories of someone to a passionate desire for another. Couple it up with an attentive ear and you’ll have a new friend in no time.

In a deeper sense though, acquaintance is always the first step to befriend someone (and maybe more…) but how do we determine those who are good from the bad? from the interesting to the mundane? And who would forget, from the way they look and dress to you know what I mean… ( Sorry!!!)

Let’s say in all of these, the common ground for any friendship will be the “sense to belong” attitude of the group. I’m blessed to say that I have officemates who are definitely for the GO when it comes to talk and discuss about life, leisure, love and anything else that revolves around each and everyone of us.

To Thirdy, Stan (New Team Mate and not on the Pic below!!!), Master Ai, Kat, Clei,Tanya and Cha0 – two thumbs up to the best Recruitment Team in the entire TeleTech Company!!!Me, Clei,CHao,Tanya,Master Ai,Kat and Thirdy (infront)

Dumaguete Bloggers!

Yey! My 2 blogs was added to Dumaguete site! And yes folks, it’s something to be excited about if you tell me because I have been looking for Dumagueteños who are into blogging as well.

To mention Dumaguete bloggers, the upcoming NegOr IT Expo 2008 is inviting all bloggers and technopreneurs to join this December 1-2, 2008 at the Negros Convention Center. Although joining the event may incur cost, I believe this will be an avenue to share ideas and be heard during the 2 day event.

I’m currently part of the organizing commitee ( sleaky me… Hehehehe) and I’d say this is something promising. So, for all those bloggers who are into e-business, send me a message and who know’s you’d hit it big after this event!

By the way, the said event will be handled by the Negros Oriental/ Dumaguete ICT Group,who are composed of different schools, goverment and private businesses respectively. Click my name to learn more!

Thanks,
Vir

Wandering Around…

I’ve been wandering around the net for days searching for good blogs coming from Dumaguete and I’d say I’m not in vain. So, for this post I’ll be sharing some blogrolls from people that I know and not know of that has good content and exposure.

To start of, I’ll share about some interesting site I’ve been going back and forth this weekend.

Blogroyalty – Cool layout and interesting topics from politics, social issues and personal experiences. This blog is from a good friend from my hometown who was just hailed one of the “Dumaguete’s Top 5 Young Achievers Under 25″. I’d say he’s gone this far with his achievement and will be taking over blogosphere in just a few spins. 😉

Memoirs on a Post-it – This one is something worth to keep track on. I’d say the author, Joselle, is an articulate and interesting blogger with a personal touch to her blog entries. Check it out for yourself if you’d not be mesmerized for her Apo experience and review. 🙂

Dumaguete City – Although I’m a bit confused if this is a blog or a pure bred website, it does contain some interesting links to a few Dumaguete blogs here. And I think, I found what PinoyBlogero was talking about. 😀

Tech Hallucinations – is a good stop if your into techno-writing and wants to know the latest about Dumaguete Technology. 🙂

These are some of the blogs I gathered for now since I only have a few minutes left before I’d doze off to sleep tonight.

Hhhm… Interesting that I was able to find some blogs coming from people from here. Hopefully, I can connect to most of them and see if a possible blog event will be doable before the year ends. 🙂

For more details on what I’m talking about – Click here.

A blog about “toxic-tiring-exhausting…”


It’s late and I’m still in the office for a marketing call at 7:30pm. Whew…as usual, this is going to be a long-toxic-tiring-exhausting day for me.

Can you imagine coming in the office before 9:00am and leaving at exactly the same number in the evening ( 9:00pm) ?

Anyway, I am not ranting about something that I hate to do but just because it’s tiring. But does tiring means boring? or not interesting enough to finish? ( hehehe…)

Being a Coordinator, and I’d say a busy one at that makes me realize that part of being promoted is the need to be in the office way pass your schedule. It despises me accept the fact that “workaholic” is a tag line to people like me.

So, what drives a man like me to push for the limits?

If you say pay, I’d say “No…not really.” I am not after the money because I honestly believe I’m paid less compared to the other coordinators from other sites.

If you say benefits, I’d say ” Maybe…sometimes.” Basically because it allows me to practice my intellectual skills in making “fool-proof” (hopefully…) plans for sourcing out applicants but sometimes it breaks my neck sitting the whole day making plans which is not healthy for a cute guy like me. Haha… Feeler!

If you say performance, I’d say “Yes,definitely.” I am a workaholic guy who pushes myself to the limit to have good outputs and be praised for the good things I’ve done ( minus being egoistic). It makes me proud to see activities being completed by my own initiatives.

So, why post it here?

Because I want to express it out after a long day at work…And hopefully, still can project after a day at the office. Hehehe… ( Peace!!!)

12 Days of Indian Christmas!

I was browsing through Youtube and I found a very interesting Christmas song video. This is funny and really interesting! Check it out below –

The creator, Boymongoose seems to be very artistic when it comes to animation and has a funny side when it comes to creating a story line. I am an instant fan of him on Youtube!

On their website at Boymongoose shares about the following information –

Boymongoose is an Indian Christmas Popstar who specialises in comedic remakes of all the classic Christmas Carols. As the lead singer of an Indian boy band, boymongoose takes aim at Insufficient Dowries, Internet Dating, Bollywood Hunks, Corrupt Child Sports Stars and Angels with amazing I.T. skills. Crossing styles from pop-rock to piano ballads to barbershop, few targets escape his debut Christmas in Asia Minor album.

Boymongoose is joined on the album by, without a doubt, the funniest Sri Lankan we could afford – Nishan Selvadurai (the artist currently known as Nish). The FHM award winning comedian brings his gifted mix of sketch, celebrity impersonations and one liners to emcee you through to the album’s bizarre conclusion.

Sigh, in reality, I’m still thinking what to give as gift to my two little pamangkins at home but at least the video gave me an idea for a crazy steamy gift for both!

Check his other videos by clicking here – Boymongoose.

Email Subscription Activated!

I already activated my email subscription link for OutOfDBox and Melankoliko blogs!

This way, if anyone is interested to subscribe about my scribbles and posts, I’m one click away!
I’m sorry for this short post…I just got excited being able to have the email subscription link after months of thinking how to make one.

Thanks to feedburner!