We face difficulties and challenges differently. I for one would strategize how to get out of the situation, create resolutions and start working to sort things out. But other people respond differently. A friend of mine usually tries to detach herself to people when faced with challenges while another one, bursts out in discouragement and talks about it to everyone he meets.
Regardless of the challenges, one thing is for sure, our attitude determines our response to the situation. Responding negatively only brings more problems and frustration while responding the positive way helps fix the situation. We need to become part of the solution and not the problem.
Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. -Hans Selye
Here are a couple of things I am learning while experiencing the challenges:
- Listen to other people’s concern but never retaliate – LISTEN. It pays to listen to a co-worker when they are venting out their frustrations. Although it might push us to retaliate when words gets very sharp but having the patience to sit for some time and know the root cause can help us better understand the situation.
- Affirm the other person’s point of view but rebuke when needed – the person will keep on telling the group that he or she is right. Regardless of how negative this may sound, affirming their remarks and observations helps the person to open up. We need to understand that this gives us the edge to also give our side of the observation. It becomes different when the person now pinpoints other people’s mistakes instead on focusing on what really is going on. That’s when rebuke comes in. I always remind myself to “rebuke with love” – the statement may be hard to take but sharing it the right way, without raising your voice and using right words that brings clarity not hatred matters.
- Always be cool-headed when talking to someone – having two hot-headed people in one room is too much. Someone will retaliate at any moment. According to my favorite author Zig Ziglar “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude…” and being cool even when discussing hot issues gives balance and resolution always.
- If needed, we need to be firm with what needs to be done and get both side’s commitment – verbalizing our comments, commitment and even with a simple “yes” or “no” can level the game. It always takes two or more people to fix the issue; it can never be resolved with you just absorbing everything. You need to tell the right people and discuss resolutions. Get the commitment of the person concerned to “move on” and do something about it and if possible, not talk about it anymore in a negative way.
I hope the things I’ve shared help. And if it does, please let me know! 😉